I like reading your autobiographical stuff, Amanda, and I have a feeling it's good medicine for you, so please don't say you might not write any more! 😊
I think others can always find something familiar in your memoir, and so it helps them (me!) to not feel alone in their own struggles and memories.
Aw thanks, Don. I didn’t mean these kinds of posts but the flash memoir pieces I’ve been sharing behind the paywall. Which are written as creative nonfiction narratives as if I’m there living it again. I don’t think I need to do that. I don’t think they’re helping or healthy. But I’ll still keep writing essays like these. As yes, they do help me and I hope they can help others. 💙
I have been estranged from my mother on and off for a few years. I find her difficult to have a relationship with, but there are moments when I have hope. They are usually dashed down. I read a book that completely changed how I see things. It's called "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Lindsay Gibson. It explained my whole life to me, why I am the way I am, why I feel how I feel, and how to have a relationship with my mom without getting sucked into old patterns. It's a challenge, dealing with your parents as people, and them seeing you as an adult.
Sorry to hear of your difficulties, Janine. That book sounds interesting. I read one that changed everything for me called When You And Your Mother Can’t Be Friends by Victoria Secunda. Helped me understand loads about myself.
I'd like to chime in here, as a psychotherapist, and second Janine's recommendation of the Gibson book. I recommend it to many of my clients. (Sooo many people, or at least so many among those who seek therapy, grew up with emotionally immature parents.) I'm also glad to know about the book you mentioned, Amanda. Will check it out!
I will check that one out too. I don't want to befriend my mom, I just want a less exhausting relationship with her. The Gibson book helped me understand that aspect.
No I didn’t want to befriend mine either but it helped me understand why she was like she was, and why I behaved in certain ways too. Reading it was the first time I realised she was a narcissist and that what had been happening my whole life wasn’t my fault.
I am always deeply moved by your autobiographical writing. Your words shimmer with with a sense that you are looking back not in anger, but in wonder as you seek to understand all that has unfolded in your life.
Thank you, Edith. No there’s no anger anymore. And yes, I am seeking to understand things and I think writing reflective essays like these helps me do that, whereas the flash memoir pieces don’t.
Such an honest and raw piece, Amanda. Thank you for sharing it. I'm heartened to know that you overcame the legacy of toxic parenting and learned about love on your own. What a beautiful evolution! My story of doing something that I needed to do to learn was when I decided to go back to my ex-husband, a few months after leaving him. I made the right decision the first time but clearly, in retrospect, I needed to experience him "one more time" before I knew for sure that I was done.
Thanks Jeanne. It is a beautiful evolution! And thanks for sharing your story too. It must be ingrained in us to have to try just one more time, even though we do really know we shouldn’t.
Thank you for sharing this. The background sounds very similar to my own. I haven't had the courage to break away, but I have stepped back and it has been the making of me. Helps in writing too 😊
It looks like you’ve done the best thing in walking away from a toxic situation, Amanda. You’re growing stronger each day and so lucky to have found your lovely husband… Still good to share your life story with others when you feel up to it. We all learn from each other xx
Thanks Ali. Yes, I’m lucky indeed to have found my lovely husband. I will share essays like these just not feeling like writing the flash narrative non-fiction pieces. These reflective essays are helping me to make sense of it whereas the flash don’t feel like they’re doing that.
Thank you, deeply for this offering. I can imagine it's healing for you and as a reader, with a similar, yet different, but very much the same story, I can attest that it is for me too.
Without giving you my life story, I'll try to be brief and helpful. I'll first affirm 100% the life changing/giving/affirming boundaries you have set. I champion you and your heart with all of mine.
My mother was an alcoholic. She had me at 41. My brother and sister at the time were 23 & 25. Each had different fathers as did I. There was never any tool for living or loving in a healthy relationship handed down. Nor did I ever witness a healthy relationship, ever, anywhere, even within my family. Except for my brother, but he lived far away and was killed in an accident when I was 21.
I was never handed skills for coping in a healthy way, for all the ways in which life would slice open my soul. So I chose the unhealthy ways to cope. They nearly killed me until I got sober in 2017.
She was not a monster. She was beautiful in many ways. And she loved me with all her heart. She taught me one thing. The single, one and only thing my mother gave me was this: "you never, ever give up."
In 2010 the phone calls got so bad, I was in WA and she in OR, I had to change my phone number for 3 years. Three years of peace, calm, quiet, intense healing...but the healing took me to a place I never expected. And mind you this was after it all. Including the worst - I'd lost my ex-husband to suicide and it was bad. He chose to do it in the presence of my children who were 10 & 2 at the time, my 10 year old was the one who found him. My mother knew what we had been through with the suicide and yet she on not one, not two, nor three or four but five occasions picked up that phone and begged me to help her end her life.-
But after all that, I found myself in a place, thanks to the help of a spiritual mentor who saved my life, where I saw my mother for who she was. I saw that she was never going to change. And I saw that in accepting that truth lie my freedom. Furthermore, I could now show up as the daughter I'd never been and love her for who she was, exactly where she was at. And I did. And it was one of the most transformational, life giving choices I ever made, for myself, my wounds. I was free.
My mentor repeatedly would ask me, "how free do you want to be?"
I repeatedly had to let go, over and over and over
I believe the new popular term now is "let them" which I kind of like!
Anyway, I began to see so clearly this fragile, broken woman drenched in fear. Never had the tools handed to her, nor did her mother, or her mother's mother, and when I really looked back...all the way up my generational lineage...all there is...is brokenness immeasurable and pain indescribable.
So I made sure she had my new phone number. I made visits to see her, she was in an assisted living home now, before she died. I looked her in the eyes and said everything my heart needed to say, and so did she and we held each others hands and wept and forgave each other and both our hearts were clean and clear as day before she died, just this year...January 1st.
And I suppose I realized, at some point, it all had to stop. And it stops with me. I learn. I heal. I grow. I fall, I get back up. I gather the tools and I hand them to my boys with the prayer and the hope that they not only use them, but pass them on to their young ones should they decide to have children.
And looking back, at it all, everything makes sense, even the loss of their father, it broke me, wide and completely open. It was necessary, to get to here, where the healing lives, where it is to be shared...where all there is, was and ever will be is love.❤️
Hi Niki, thank you for sharing this with me. I’m so sorry you have been through so much suffering. But I can tell you are in a good place now. I’m glad you could find that connection with your mum. Sadly mine never showed me any love. She’s a narcissist and everything was always about her. She was also physically and emotionally abusive and ignored the sexual abuse going on from my stepfather and stepbrother. So while I forgave her a long time ago and understand she was doing the best she could with where she’s at on her journey, I won’t be getting in touch again. In the end, I learned that I had to look after me. 💙
Amanda, holding you in the deepest of healing love and admiration for your incredible courage. Mine as well never believed me when I told her I’d been raped at 8. My mother also, a narcissist to the core was never able to see other people. The world revolved around her until the day she died. Yours, however, not showing you any love, is not something I can relate to, and can not imagine. My mother did try, it was twisted, but she did try.
Many will be blessed by your healing and what you share in your writing, which I’m sure you know, I say this only to reiterate, this truth that solidifies evermore here in this incredible healing space …we are never alone. Thank you for sharing your truth. ❤️🙏
Thank you for your courage; you're an inspiration to so many. Family dynamics are so tricky! They can feel safe one minute, then suddenly the bottom can just drop out. And, I think that mother-daughter relationships are the toughest to navigate. My mom could be challenging at times too . My sister & I learned to side step the landmines when we were young, which created an interesting narrative.
Your writing is inspiring and feels familiar to me. Thank you for sharing your heart!
Thanks Rachel. I’m glad my writing is touching you. My family was never really safe. Violence, and physical, emotional and sexual abuse filled my young life. My mother is a narcissist and unable to show love. I’m not sure if she feels it. I hope she does for her sake.
Reading your post, and reading from all the commenters, I, once again, am awed by the safety and trust that can be cultivated in a digital community like the ones formed here on Substack. May we continue this community—lord knows we need more of it. Thanks Amanda for your sharing and I want to extend a thanks to all those who followed up with their own poignant shares. I’m just going to bear witness to it all and not add any of my own right now.
Yes the community developing here on Substack is amazing - unlike anything I have experienced online before. Thanks for reading and commenting, Kert. And no need at all to share anything if it's not the time for you to do so. 💙
Hi Amanda, you know I can find myself and my experience easily in this piece. Thank you for sharing. I’m going to see my sister for the first time in 6 years next week. I don’t know how it will go. I don’t feel comfortable closing off that relationship, and I’ve said yes to the visit to “test the waters” so to speak. Is there space for the relationship to exist beyond the occasional text. I’m not expecting the answer to be affirmative.
I appreciate the Thich Nhat Hanh quote. I want to be the parent who has dealt with her “stuff,” the one who is willing to own her actions. I want my kids to have that model. Thanks again for sharing this.
Hi Emily, from what I know of you through your writing and our many lovely interactions, I reckon you’ll be doing a great job at being a good model for your kids. The meeting with your sister must be a daunting prospect. I hope it goes as well as it can. Let me know how it turns out if you want to. 💙
Thanks, Amanda. Parenting provides ample opportunities to be hard on yourself. I’m sort of going into the visit with my sister without expectations, just looking for information on the state of the things. But yes, daunting!
The only person I talk to in my family is my nephew (he's 33). My life started when I started to distance myself from my sick relatives. Because now I know why they are the way they are. They're sick. They're suffering. But empathy doesn't mean sacrifice. It took me 30 odd years to understand that the only way for me to stay healthy, as you highlighted in your beautiful essay, is to stay consistently away from them. Though I also grieve, I think that is an act of love, towards me and them both. I wish them the best.
Hi Alo, thanks for sharing your experience. Yes exactly that. They’re suffering and I can’t, and it’s not up to me to, fix them. I have to try and fix myself and you put it so well, as it is an act of love for all as it wasn’t good for any of us how things were before. Since starting to write about my estrangement here, I’ve been amazed to discover how many people are in the same situation. It’s so sad for us all but, at the same time, I’m also the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been.
Same here! I'm really glad that both you and I are in a much better place now, (i.e. than when we were desperately trying to find love where it couldn't be found, or expressed). Thank you for reminding me that many other people who resonate with such experiences. My first essay on Substack called "The Gift of Rejection" was on a closely related topic https://aloalo.substack.com/p/the-gift-of-rejection?r=qlbss . Not many people read it; understandably, because I was new on here and had no idea what I was doing (still don't!). However, somehow, because this topic was so sensitive to me, I assumed nobody was interested in that kind of personal stuff. So I started writing about other things that weren't so personal and got a bit lost. And now, I haven't published a post on here in two months. What you're saying is helping me to see that they are other readers who do care about and can relate to these complex family dynamics. That gives me hope. I'll start writing again, even if it's just for my handful of subscribers. Quality, not quantity... Thank you, Amanda.
I just read it. It’s a moving and powerful piece of writing. Please do write more! And yes, not being loved by those who should messes you up but then it gives you strength beyond any you ever imagined you could have. I feel very grateful to have connected with you here, Alo.
Thank you for reading, linking and providing positive feedback, Amanda. It means a lot to me, especially coming from you. Feeling very grateful for our connection too, and for the guidance and inspiration you and your amazing work provide.
Amanda! Thank you for writing so vulnerably. Your story resonated deeply with me as I also have a complicated relationship with my birth mother. The way you calmly handled that dinner was incredibly responsible and inspiring 🩷 It's heartbreaking to want love from a parent in a way you'll never receive. Your acceptance of this reality and focus on finding peace and happiness on your own is something I deeply admire and relate to.
Thanks for your lovely comment, Mohika. Yes, it’s really hard to get over it when the people who should love you unconditionally, don’t. But I’m happy to say that after a lot of work, I now know that it’s not my fault. I’m so glad my words resonated with you. 💙
This is so painfully profound and beautiful. I find myself in this same space in some ways, though, resolution for mine is far more difficult as my parents have long passed.
I'm also going to share this with my wife who is struggling with her daughters in a very similar fashion.
Thank you, Amanda, for sharing a difficult memory that we all can learn from. Not only did this touch me, it made me see a new way of looking at things.
Thanks so much for your lovely comment, John. I’m glad my post helped you in some way. That’s partly why I share my experiences, as when I was going through hard times with it all, I’d have really appreciated knowing and hearing others stories who had been through similar situations. So as not to feel so alone and to know thjngs could get better. Writing about it also helps me to try and understand it all💙
I like reading your autobiographical stuff, Amanda, and I have a feeling it's good medicine for you, so please don't say you might not write any more! 😊
I think others can always find something familiar in your memoir, and so it helps them (me!) to not feel alone in their own struggles and memories.
Thanks, Amanda, for being here! 🩷
Aw thanks, Don. I didn’t mean these kinds of posts but the flash memoir pieces I’ve been sharing behind the paywall. Which are written as creative nonfiction narratives as if I’m there living it again. I don’t think I need to do that. I don’t think they’re helping or healthy. But I’ll still keep writing essays like these. As yes, they do help me and I hope they can help others. 💙
Oh, I see. Great! 👍
I have been estranged from my mother on and off for a few years. I find her difficult to have a relationship with, but there are moments when I have hope. They are usually dashed down. I read a book that completely changed how I see things. It's called "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Lindsay Gibson. It explained my whole life to me, why I am the way I am, why I feel how I feel, and how to have a relationship with my mom without getting sucked into old patterns. It's a challenge, dealing with your parents as people, and them seeing you as an adult.
Sorry to hear of your difficulties, Janine. That book sounds interesting. I read one that changed everything for me called When You And Your Mother Can’t Be Friends by Victoria Secunda. Helped me understand loads about myself.
I'd like to chime in here, as a psychotherapist, and second Janine's recommendation of the Gibson book. I recommend it to many of my clients. (Sooo many people, or at least so many among those who seek therapy, grew up with emotionally immature parents.) I'm also glad to know about the book you mentioned, Amanda. Will check it out!
I shall read it!
I will check that one out too. I don't want to befriend my mom, I just want a less exhausting relationship with her. The Gibson book helped me understand that aspect.
No I didn’t want to befriend mine either but it helped me understand why she was like she was, and why I behaved in certain ways too. Reading it was the first time I realised she was a narcissist and that what had been happening my whole life wasn’t my fault.
I am always deeply moved by your autobiographical writing. Your words shimmer with with a sense that you are looking back not in anger, but in wonder as you seek to understand all that has unfolded in your life.
Thank you, Edith. No there’s no anger anymore. And yes, I am seeking to understand things and I think writing reflective essays like these helps me do that, whereas the flash memoir pieces don’t.
Therapeutic writing Amanda, thanks for sharing your journey for others to connect with your story and heal along with you.
I attempt to write poetry here on Substack. Here's two pieces I wrote on related topics.
https://open.substack.com/pub/theseainme/p/unsilenced?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=46rss
https://open.substack.com/pub/theseainme/p/dislocated?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=46rss
Thank you for sharing these poems. They are both beautiful 💙
Such an honest and raw piece, Amanda. Thank you for sharing it. I'm heartened to know that you overcame the legacy of toxic parenting and learned about love on your own. What a beautiful evolution! My story of doing something that I needed to do to learn was when I decided to go back to my ex-husband, a few months after leaving him. I made the right decision the first time but clearly, in retrospect, I needed to experience him "one more time" before I knew for sure that I was done.
Thanks Jeanne. It is a beautiful evolution! And thanks for sharing your story too. It must be ingrained in us to have to try just one more time, even though we do really know we shouldn’t.
Thank you for sharing this. The background sounds very similar to my own. I haven't had the courage to break away, but I have stepped back and it has been the making of me. Helps in writing too 😊
It’s hard to break away. The most difficult thing I’ve ever done. But, yes it’s been the making of me too. Sending solidarity 💙
It looks like you’ve done the best thing in walking away from a toxic situation, Amanda. You’re growing stronger each day and so lucky to have found your lovely husband… Still good to share your life story with others when you feel up to it. We all learn from each other xx
Thanks Ali. Yes, I’m lucky indeed to have found my lovely husband. I will share essays like these just not feeling like writing the flash narrative non-fiction pieces. These reflective essays are helping me to make sense of it whereas the flash don’t feel like they’re doing that.
Hi Amanda,
Thank you, deeply for this offering. I can imagine it's healing for you and as a reader, with a similar, yet different, but very much the same story, I can attest that it is for me too.
Without giving you my life story, I'll try to be brief and helpful. I'll first affirm 100% the life changing/giving/affirming boundaries you have set. I champion you and your heart with all of mine.
My mother was an alcoholic. She had me at 41. My brother and sister at the time were 23 & 25. Each had different fathers as did I. There was never any tool for living or loving in a healthy relationship handed down. Nor did I ever witness a healthy relationship, ever, anywhere, even within my family. Except for my brother, but he lived far away and was killed in an accident when I was 21.
I was never handed skills for coping in a healthy way, for all the ways in which life would slice open my soul. So I chose the unhealthy ways to cope. They nearly killed me until I got sober in 2017.
She was not a monster. She was beautiful in many ways. And she loved me with all her heart. She taught me one thing. The single, one and only thing my mother gave me was this: "you never, ever give up."
In 2010 the phone calls got so bad, I was in WA and she in OR, I had to change my phone number for 3 years. Three years of peace, calm, quiet, intense healing...but the healing took me to a place I never expected. And mind you this was after it all. Including the worst - I'd lost my ex-husband to suicide and it was bad. He chose to do it in the presence of my children who were 10 & 2 at the time, my 10 year old was the one who found him. My mother knew what we had been through with the suicide and yet she on not one, not two, nor three or four but five occasions picked up that phone and begged me to help her end her life.-
But after all that, I found myself in a place, thanks to the help of a spiritual mentor who saved my life, where I saw my mother for who she was. I saw that she was never going to change. And I saw that in accepting that truth lie my freedom. Furthermore, I could now show up as the daughter I'd never been and love her for who she was, exactly where she was at. And I did. And it was one of the most transformational, life giving choices I ever made, for myself, my wounds. I was free.
My mentor repeatedly would ask me, "how free do you want to be?"
I repeatedly had to let go, over and over and over
I believe the new popular term now is "let them" which I kind of like!
Anyway, I began to see so clearly this fragile, broken woman drenched in fear. Never had the tools handed to her, nor did her mother, or her mother's mother, and when I really looked back...all the way up my generational lineage...all there is...is brokenness immeasurable and pain indescribable.
So I made sure she had my new phone number. I made visits to see her, she was in an assisted living home now, before she died. I looked her in the eyes and said everything my heart needed to say, and so did she and we held each others hands and wept and forgave each other and both our hearts were clean and clear as day before she died, just this year...January 1st.
And I suppose I realized, at some point, it all had to stop. And it stops with me. I learn. I heal. I grow. I fall, I get back up. I gather the tools and I hand them to my boys with the prayer and the hope that they not only use them, but pass them on to their young ones should they decide to have children.
And looking back, at it all, everything makes sense, even the loss of their father, it broke me, wide and completely open. It was necessary, to get to here, where the healing lives, where it is to be shared...where all there is, was and ever will be is love.❤️
Hi Niki, thank you for sharing this with me. I’m so sorry you have been through so much suffering. But I can tell you are in a good place now. I’m glad you could find that connection with your mum. Sadly mine never showed me any love. She’s a narcissist and everything was always about her. She was also physically and emotionally abusive and ignored the sexual abuse going on from my stepfather and stepbrother. So while I forgave her a long time ago and understand she was doing the best she could with where she’s at on her journey, I won’t be getting in touch again. In the end, I learned that I had to look after me. 💙
Amanda, holding you in the deepest of healing love and admiration for your incredible courage. Mine as well never believed me when I told her I’d been raped at 8. My mother also, a narcissist to the core was never able to see other people. The world revolved around her until the day she died. Yours, however, not showing you any love, is not something I can relate to, and can not imagine. My mother did try, it was twisted, but she did try.
Many will be blessed by your healing and what you share in your writing, which I’m sure you know, I say this only to reiterate, this truth that solidifies evermore here in this incredible healing space …we are never alone. Thank you for sharing your truth. ❤️🙏
Thank you, Niki. You too 💙
Thank you for your courage; you're an inspiration to so many. Family dynamics are so tricky! They can feel safe one minute, then suddenly the bottom can just drop out. And, I think that mother-daughter relationships are the toughest to navigate. My mom could be challenging at times too . My sister & I learned to side step the landmines when we were young, which created an interesting narrative.
Your writing is inspiring and feels familiar to me. Thank you for sharing your heart!
Thanks Rachel. I’m glad my writing is touching you. My family was never really safe. Violence, and physical, emotional and sexual abuse filled my young life. My mother is a narcissist and unable to show love. I’m not sure if she feels it. I hope she does for her sake.
Reading your post, and reading from all the commenters, I, once again, am awed by the safety and trust that can be cultivated in a digital community like the ones formed here on Substack. May we continue this community—lord knows we need more of it. Thanks Amanda for your sharing and I want to extend a thanks to all those who followed up with their own poignant shares. I’m just going to bear witness to it all and not add any of my own right now.
Yes the community developing here on Substack is amazing - unlike anything I have experienced online before. Thanks for reading and commenting, Kert. And no need at all to share anything if it's not the time for you to do so. 💙
Sometimes, clarity arises not from mending bridges but from recognizing when to let them stand alone.
Thank you so much for sharing such a beautiful journey of growth and self-realization.
Thank you for reading and commenting, Eva. And yes, sometime we just have to accept that things can’t be fixed.
Hi Amanda, you know I can find myself and my experience easily in this piece. Thank you for sharing. I’m going to see my sister for the first time in 6 years next week. I don’t know how it will go. I don’t feel comfortable closing off that relationship, and I’ve said yes to the visit to “test the waters” so to speak. Is there space for the relationship to exist beyond the occasional text. I’m not expecting the answer to be affirmative.
I appreciate the Thich Nhat Hanh quote. I want to be the parent who has dealt with her “stuff,” the one who is willing to own her actions. I want my kids to have that model. Thanks again for sharing this.
Hi Emily, from what I know of you through your writing and our many lovely interactions, I reckon you’ll be doing a great job at being a good model for your kids. The meeting with your sister must be a daunting prospect. I hope it goes as well as it can. Let me know how it turns out if you want to. 💙
Thanks, Amanda. Parenting provides ample opportunities to be hard on yourself. I’m sort of going into the visit with my sister without expectations, just looking for information on the state of the things. But yes, daunting!
The only person I talk to in my family is my nephew (he's 33). My life started when I started to distance myself from my sick relatives. Because now I know why they are the way they are. They're sick. They're suffering. But empathy doesn't mean sacrifice. It took me 30 odd years to understand that the only way for me to stay healthy, as you highlighted in your beautiful essay, is to stay consistently away from them. Though I also grieve, I think that is an act of love, towards me and them both. I wish them the best.
Hi Alo, thanks for sharing your experience. Yes exactly that. They’re suffering and I can’t, and it’s not up to me to, fix them. I have to try and fix myself and you put it so well, as it is an act of love for all as it wasn’t good for any of us how things were before. Since starting to write about my estrangement here, I’ve been amazed to discover how many people are in the same situation. It’s so sad for us all but, at the same time, I’m also the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been.
Same here! I'm really glad that both you and I are in a much better place now, (i.e. than when we were desperately trying to find love where it couldn't be found, or expressed). Thank you for reminding me that many other people who resonate with such experiences. My first essay on Substack called "The Gift of Rejection" was on a closely related topic https://aloalo.substack.com/p/the-gift-of-rejection?r=qlbss . Not many people read it; understandably, because I was new on here and had no idea what I was doing (still don't!). However, somehow, because this topic was so sensitive to me, I assumed nobody was interested in that kind of personal stuff. So I started writing about other things that weren't so personal and got a bit lost. And now, I haven't published a post on here in two months. What you're saying is helping me to see that they are other readers who do care about and can relate to these complex family dynamics. That gives me hope. I'll start writing again, even if it's just for my handful of subscribers. Quality, not quantity... Thank you, Amanda.
I just read it. It’s a moving and powerful piece of writing. Please do write more! And yes, not being loved by those who should messes you up but then it gives you strength beyond any you ever imagined you could have. I feel very grateful to have connected with you here, Alo.
Thank you for reading, linking and providing positive feedback, Amanda. It means a lot to me, especially coming from you. Feeling very grateful for our connection too, and for the guidance and inspiration you and your amazing work provide.
Amanda! Thank you for writing so vulnerably. Your story resonated deeply with me as I also have a complicated relationship with my birth mother. The way you calmly handled that dinner was incredibly responsible and inspiring 🩷 It's heartbreaking to want love from a parent in a way you'll never receive. Your acceptance of this reality and focus on finding peace and happiness on your own is something I deeply admire and relate to.
Thanks for your lovely comment, Mohika. Yes, it’s really hard to get over it when the people who should love you unconditionally, don’t. But I’m happy to say that after a lot of work, I now know that it’s not my fault. I’m so glad my words resonated with you. 💙
This is good advice. Why to fight against what will be anyway.
This is so painfully profound and beautiful. I find myself in this same space in some ways, though, resolution for mine is far more difficult as my parents have long passed.
I'm also going to share this with my wife who is struggling with her daughters in a very similar fashion.
Thank you, Amanda, for sharing a difficult memory that we all can learn from. Not only did this touch me, it made me see a new way of looking at things.
Thanks so much for your lovely comment, John. I’m glad my post helped you in some way. That’s partly why I share my experiences, as when I was going through hard times with it all, I’d have really appreciated knowing and hearing others stories who had been through similar situations. So as not to feel so alone and to know thjngs could get better. Writing about it also helps me to try and understand it all💙