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Don Boivin's avatar

Yay, that's so great that you get to go back to your favorite place, Amanda! My brother-in-law is from Scotland but I've never been there. Happy anniversary to you and your husband! 🙏💚

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Amanda Saint's avatar

Thank you, Don! You should go to Scotland as it as AMAZING! Here’s hoping mine and John's dreams of being able to say there come true! 💙

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Dave Karpowicz's avatar

Amanda, We each have our things to let go of and things to focus on. It reminds me of Kenny Rogers "Know when to hold and know when to fold them" I do wish you happiness wherever you are. D

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Amanda Saint's avatar

Thanks Dave. I’m always in a process of letting go! And, generally, on a day-to-day basis, I’m mostly happy. I wish you happiness too. 💙

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Kert Lenseigne 🌱's avatar

The holidays are just plain weird, period. For so many reasons. That being said, the holidays are what we make of them. Just like this singular moment. Grateful for your honest vulnerability.

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Emily Conway's avatar

So good to hear that Scotland is for several months! Yay:). Thank you of for sharing about your sadness. I do think it helps to just admit what we feel. I have a hard time with celebration (always waiting for the "other shoe"), so that tends to show up over the holidays - "why can't I be happy; why can't I enjoy?" But being aware of my tendency towards these feeling helps me not to get lost in them. Congratulations on your anniversary!

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Amanda Saint's avatar

Yes another 4 months sorted up there. In the 2 week gap we are going to visit the people we house sat for near Inverness at the start of this year, who have become friends of ours. Going to spend a few days with them and then they’re going to have a little holiday before we go back to the other house sit, while we look after their cats and chickens. They’ve had a tough year. Lovely Lucy dog died and then a few month’s later, Colin’s Dad had a massive stroke and was very ill for a few months then died. They need a break. Then end of April we’ll be moving into a place up near Inverness, if all goes to plan!

Here’s hoping both of us can find some joy over the festive season this year! 💙

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Emily Conway's avatar

That sounds really good, especially, moving into a place near Inverness at the end of April! Yes, to joy:)

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Teri Leigh 💜's avatar

I am married to a man who is mostly estranged from his family. His mother passed and he has what he calls a very "flimsy" relationship with his father, and a non-existent connection with his brother. And, sadly, his relationship with his own children (from a prior marriage) exists only in his heart. As I read your words today, I feel the soft sorrow that the holidays bring. and yet, you have balanced it with the gentle joys of the beautiful life you have built for 24 years with your husband.

I'm so glad to have met you here on Substack, and I'm eager to get to know you better.

Did I tell you that I lived in Southampton England for a summer in 1994?

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Amanda Saint's avatar

Yes this is a strange time of year for many people. Since writing in here I’ve come across so many people who don’t have a relationship with their parents. It’s so sad that our societies are so fractured. But even though I come from something very broken I’m choosing to spread love 💙

I’m glad to have met you too, Teri Leigh, and maybe one day we might real in the real world too!

You did mention you lived here for a while. The 90s were a great time to be here! Now, not so great!

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Teri Leigh 💜's avatar

you spread the love very well - especially on the energetic level.

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Amanda Saint's avatar

Thank you! That means so much to me to hear that 🙏💙

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