23 Comments
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Kirsty's avatar

Great post, it is a struggle to give myself credit for what I've done and not judge myself on not things I've not managed! Totally understand your thoughts!

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Amanda Saint's avatar

Sadly, we’re conditioned to judge ourselves harshly. When in fact, we’re all doing amazing! Well done you! 💙

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Kirsty's avatar

Conditioning has a lot to say for itself! Thanks and well done to you too! x

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Edith's avatar

Hi Amanda, I am very sorry to hear about your sister-in-law, it sounds very serious. You are amazingly kind and compassionate to go to such effort and spend so much time making sure that you are there for your sister-in-law as much as you can. In itself this would do me in, so the fact that you still managing to engage in all the many ways you have listed above is incredible! Please give yourself a pat on the back from me, and continue to look after your own needs for, as you said, unless you look after yourself you won't be able to take care of others. Mind yourself dear Amanda. xx

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Amanda Saint's avatar

Thanks Edith. I’m taking it easy right now. On the sofa, feet up, under a blanket 💙

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Don Boivin's avatar

Sometimes I think that achieving is similar to acquiring. The older I get, the more I want to simplify, and that means not only getting rid of all the clutter and stuff, but also simplifying my schedule. Obviously that’s not easy when you need to make money.

Recently, I went to see a friend who wanted me to do a little bit of remodeling in his house. He lives 45 minutes away. When I got there, we had a nice visit and then he showed me how he had done the work himself. He didn’t need me anymore . That would have been a paying job, but boy did I feel relieved!

I do have other jobs though. In fact, right now I’m sitting in my truck taking a break from the porch replacement job that I mentioned in my last essay. But I will tell you, it’s taking me about four times longer than it would have in past years! (that’s not reflected in the bill ha ha, it’s my loss. But not really a loss because this is such a beautiful lakeside job site.)

Just rambling, Amanda. I hope you find peace with your own schedule. I’m sending you good vibes.🙏💚

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Amanda Saint's avatar

Thanks for the good vibes, Don. Yes I try to keep things as simple as possible too. But sometimes life doesn’t play along! I think I’ve decided to just let the Tao of Storytelling go. As much as I enjoy it when I do it, I just don’t have the time or headspace right now. But all the rest is how I earn a living so I’ve got to, and want to, do it all. And usually it’s not a problem at all fitting it in but I’ve had a lot of time off in the past couple of months.

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Don Boivin's avatar

I hear you, Amanda. It’s tough to find a balance. And I know what you mean too about enjoying something once you finally get to it. I even enjoy doing my bills when I finally get to them! But ugh do I feel overwhelmed by the pile when I don’t get to it!

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Yolanda Valdés's avatar

Thank you for this post, Amanda! Life is asking you to take care of what is most pressing in the moment. It’s family right now.

I struggle with making time to just do nothing. Lately, I have decided to do nothing on my days off. Life is asking me to slow down, and spend time in self-care. I understand your thoughts as well.

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Amanda Saint's avatar

Doing nothing on your days off is a good plan! Looking after ourselves is vital despite the world we live in expecting us to be busy and productive all the time. Enjoy your slow days 💙

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Derek Lakin's avatar

Self-compassion is something I regularly struggle with, but with practice, I'm slowly moving in the right direction.

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Amanda Saint's avatar

That’s good to hear, Derek. Keep going that way!

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Fran's avatar

Sending you a big hug, Amanda, you've had so much with your sister-in-law's illness. I am feeling behind too because of things that needed doing, and treading carefully to stay on the compassion-to-self side of the fence.

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Amanda Saint's avatar

Thanks Fran. Hugging you right back 💙

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Lisa Jensen's avatar

Thank you for this beautiful reminder! I'm compassionate to myself in most moments, but reading this post made me realize that I sometimes sort of sneakily pinch and jab myself over the to-do list items that I haven't gotten to. I immediately get an image of my own kids, who take these sneaky little jabs and pinches at each other that they think I won't notice. That's how my self-criticism shows up - not as big, obvious punches. It's this much quieter (and therefore possibly more insidious), subtler sort of attack. Thank you for your thoughtful post, which helped me to recognize this! Also, I'm wishing healing for your sister-in-law and strength for all of you.

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Amanda Saint's avatar

Thanks Lisa. Yes I think those sneaky little jabs are the ones we need to watch out for!

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Dave Karpowicz's avatar

Amanda, You are amazing! I am exhausted just thinking about your list and all that is going on with you. My only word of advice- Breathe. D

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Amanda Saint's avatar

Thanks Dave. I’m doing lots of deep slow breathing! 💙

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DD🌻's avatar

I hear you, and I feel you. You have my deepest compassion, without question. I know all too well what it's like when drama comes knocking, especially over the past year since my mother's pancreatic cancer diagnosis. She passed three weeks ago today. The treatment she received prolonged her life but only maintained a sort of status quo.

Our relationship was complicated, especially after she entered into a new marriage just weeks before she died—something I didn’t even know about. But now, it doesn’t really matter. She always lived her life on her own terms, which I respect, though it’s confusing when that person is your role model for motherhood.

I've been procrastinating—I'm not sure how long I've been working on my memoir. Lately, I find myself branching out into poetry and essays. And then there’s the second edition of my first book, Being Eclipsed: Women under the ‘Care’ of the Patriarchy to align it with the Audiobook. I really want to finish it, to finally get it done, but something keeps pulling me back. It feels like there’s still more to learn, more to heal.

So yes, I understand. The struggle is real, and we need to remind ourselves who we are and what truly matters to our hearts. ❤️

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Amanda Saint's avatar

You have my deepest compassion too, DD. I don’t think it sounds like you’re procrastinating. You’re following your creative heart and working on what feels right for now. 💙

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Joy Lennick's avatar

I do try...I'm 92, so have a few 'mindful areas' - BP and knees...I have always been fairly mindful as I am a curious person, like learning and generally... am fond of people and fascinated by them. I also like exercising the limited mind I have. Joy Lennick

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Paolo Peralta's avatar

Beautiful

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