Mindful Gratitude

Realising I have so much to be thankful for

Photo by Donald Giannatti on Unsplash

I used to be so sad but hid it behind hedonism. I didn’t think I was good enough. I grew up in a violent and abusive family with a stepfather who developed wandering hands when I reached puberty, and a narcissistic mother who told me that I was useless and blamed my being born for the way her life had turned out. Both of them believed in “giving a good hiding” as a way to parent me, and my step-siblings.

My young life had intense periods of physical, verbal, emotional and sexual abuse. Sometimes it was calm. But the calm was uneasy as you never knew when things would kick off again. It took a very long time for me to process and recover from all of this.

A big part of that recovery was developing a daily gratitude practice and noticing all of the small things in my life that were good and brought me joy, peace and love. Another was the therapy I had which helped me to understand that none of what happened was my fault. I had no control as I was a child dependent on them to care for me. And in finally understanding that, I discovered that I was good enough. And that discovery means my daily gratitude has become easier and encompasses so many more things.

As part of the Slow Writing Movement, I am going to share a Mindful Gratitude post once a month that will include a writing prompt to help us all recognise the good people and things we can give thanks for. I hope you’ll find it helpful in your journey to being a more mindful writer.

These monthly posts will be free to everyone, but my paid subscribers will be able to share their responses to the prompt in a monthly chat thread. I’ll be publishing the first official Mindful Gratitude post later this month but here’s a taster of the kind of things that will be included, along with a writing prompt to get us all in a gratitude state of mind.

Acknowledging the good you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance. - Eckhart Tolle

Intention is key to living mindfully and to recognising that our lives are filled with abundance. But what are intentions, how do we recognise them, and how do they relate to mindful living?

Intentions are where we place our attention to ensure that we act, speak and think more mindfully. Whereas my mind used to be whirling with bad memories and frequently upset from my mother who contacted me daily with a new set of complaints, I set new intentions to place my attention elsewhere. To find joy, to reframe my experience and who I was.

I started focusing on nature. I was living in rural Ireland and every day, three times a day, I walked through the woods to the lake. Instead of being lost inside my head for those walks, I kept my focus external. I listened to the birds singing in the trees, the wind blowing. I stopped and looked at the amazing array of mushrooms growing all around. And I started to understand that just being here having this human experience is amazing and something to be truly thankful for.

Yes I had a rough time growing up, but the things I have learned by studying Daoism, Buddhism, and other ancient wisdoms have helped me to see that those experiences are not what define me. And that my parents were doing the best that they could from where they were on their own journeys.

As Mimi Kuo-Deemer says in her excellent book, Qigong and the Tai Chi Axis:

I have accepted that for me to expand now, I first had to contract. So I am thankful for all that came before that has enabled me to be here now, discovering new ways to be, to write, and to be happy. I am thankful for all the teachers I have found along the way that have helped me to open up my mind and heart.

Writing Prompt

Write about a person you are thankful for. It can be someone in your life now, or someone you encountered briefly, or an author whose work has resonated with you. Anyone at all. Once you have chosen someone, write for as long as feels right about them and why you feel grateful that they came into your life.

With love,

---

Thank you for reading. All of my posts are free but do represent a significant amount of work for me each week. I love writing them and if you find they resonate with you, please consider upgrading to a paid subscription to support my writing and join my Slow Writing Movement.

If a subscription is beyond you, I completely understand! If you could afford to buy me a coffee though then it would be very gratefully received.

If you know of any other writers who would find this post interesting, please do share it with them and help spread the word of The Mindful Writer and the Slow Writing Movement. Thank you!