I can just feel your sense of equanimity and it is calming to me across the ocean. I'm so happy for you that you are settled for a while and can focus on your book and on your surroundings. Be well, Amanda!
My friend, Mike, wrote a poem about that today (your situation is different, as you are resting from moving about the world, not from media addiction, but I figured you might like it anyway).
Tiny village in Devon... could it be Totnes? I lived there back in 2006 and fell in love. Beautiful discriptions, I love revisiting Devon through your writing. Thank you
Thank you. No Totnes is quite a lot further south and huge compared to here! It has a population of about 10k whereas this village has around 300 people. It’s called Parracombe and is in north Devon.
Grief is a dense mishmash of love and loss wearing an impossibly heavy cloak. But sometimes, when you're not looking, it slips into something softer, more compassionate, and even bearable. You know it will always be there, but perhaps it shifts with time just as you do. Wishing you peace in this new space of your journey!
I felt excited for you reading this! Such transitions can be sometimes challenging to navigate, but they put us in places where we must grow from. I’m glad you’re opening new possibilities for yourself!
I also live in between homes and places, some full of memories so much I can barely squeeze in, and some free and spacious where breathing is easy. I found that, to be able to function well in both, I must not get attached neither to freedom of yet-to-be-defined nor the anchoring of the past. Similarly to you, I have now returned to a town where I’m facing once again a loss of a loved one from years ago, and for the first time I don’t seek for it to be neither happy instead of sad or sad for the sake of respect, but just to be as it is — and for myself to be with it. I’m learning not to perceive heavy emotions as problems or be solved but a natural expression of the mind, allowing them in all shapes and colours. In silent moments, it brings relief.
I hope you’ll enjoy your time in this new-old place :) Take care!
Thanks Justyna. I wish you well in your new/old place too. And yes, witnessing the feelings, feeling them, and knowing they will change so you don't need to do anything, is a great relief!
Your renewed calm and equanimity shines forth in every word, Amanda. And I feel it too, just reading this lovely piece. Happy for you that you've returned to the beginning. That's always so fruitful.
No worries, my friend. It kicks off on June 1. You can subscribe now, for free/shameless promo posts throughout May, then you'd need to upgrade to paid ($5/month) on June 1. The serialization will span four months, June through September, so a total of $20. I appreciate your support. AND I look forward to your posts and writing from your new place.
This is such a heartening read on several levels, Amanda. I’m glad you’re not moving around, that you’re finding some peace in the space, and that you have plans for the future that bring you joy. It’s helpful for me to listen to your words, because I am feeling the lack of space in my life right now, and a good bit of fatigue. I would like to rest, and am finding ways to do that, but things are just full. Reading your post helped me remember that life is always changing. I will have space at some point. And somehow, knowing that others are experiencing it, is encouraging. It’s out there. It exists. Thank you!
Here's to finding your space soon, Emily. And yes, everything changes all the time. I have found much peace of mind now that I know that, and can choose not to follow my thoughts when they appear. Took a lot of learning! 💙
Lovely share ❤️
Thanks Paolo 💙
I can just feel your sense of equanimity and it is calming to me across the ocean. I'm so happy for you that you are settled for a while and can focus on your book and on your surroundings. Be well, Amanda!
Thanks Don. In praise of stillness! 💙
My friend, Mike, wrote a poem about that today (your situation is different, as you are resting from moving about the world, not from media addiction, but I figured you might like it anyway).
https://substack.com/@mikesperiosu/note/c-55107556
Thank you. I do indeed!
Tiny village in Devon... could it be Totnes? I lived there back in 2006 and fell in love. Beautiful discriptions, I love revisiting Devon through your writing. Thank you
Thank you. No Totnes is quite a lot further south and huge compared to here! It has a population of about 10k whereas this village has around 300 people. It’s called Parracombe and is in north Devon.
Oh lovely. I also loved visiting Darlington and having clotted cream.😋
Grief is a dense mishmash of love and loss wearing an impossibly heavy cloak. But sometimes, when you're not looking, it slips into something softer, more compassionate, and even bearable. You know it will always be there, but perhaps it shifts with time just as you do. Wishing you peace in this new space of your journey!
Thanks Beth. Yes grief does shift and change. Softer and more compassionate is a great way to describe what it becomes.
This is a lovely post, Amanda. So happy you are feeling more settled and there is less pain from the loss of your friends. Big hugs to you! XOX
Thanks Fran. Sending big love and hugs right back to you 💙💙💙
I really loved reading this, enjoy where you are💙 Cx
Thank you ☺️
Love the thought of grief never going away, but taking up less space with time. Thanks for that, Amanda!
Exciting times, Amanda! Happy for you to be settling in to something new!
Thanks Stephanie. New but not! But definitely feeling different now 💙
I can appreciate that, having moved back where I grew up after many years away. Not at all new but definitely different!
Give yourself time to settle in x
I felt excited for you reading this! Such transitions can be sometimes challenging to navigate, but they put us in places where we must grow from. I’m glad you’re opening new possibilities for yourself!
I also live in between homes and places, some full of memories so much I can barely squeeze in, and some free and spacious where breathing is easy. I found that, to be able to function well in both, I must not get attached neither to freedom of yet-to-be-defined nor the anchoring of the past. Similarly to you, I have now returned to a town where I’m facing once again a loss of a loved one from years ago, and for the first time I don’t seek for it to be neither happy instead of sad or sad for the sake of respect, but just to be as it is — and for myself to be with it. I’m learning not to perceive heavy emotions as problems or be solved but a natural expression of the mind, allowing them in all shapes and colours. In silent moments, it brings relief.
I hope you’ll enjoy your time in this new-old place :) Take care!
Thanks Justyna. I wish you well in your new/old place too. And yes, witnessing the feelings, feeling them, and knowing they will change so you don't need to do anything, is a great relief!
Your renewed calm and equanimity shines forth in every word, Amanda. And I feel it too, just reading this lovely piece. Happy for you that you've returned to the beginning. That's always so fruitful.
Thanks Jeanne. I hope I haven't missed the start of your memoir while I've been offline! I have so much to catch up on.
No worries, my friend. It kicks off on June 1. You can subscribe now, for free/shameless promo posts throughout May, then you'd need to upgrade to paid ($5/month) on June 1. The serialization will span four months, June through September, so a total of $20. I appreciate your support. AND I look forward to your posts and writing from your new place.
Great. I am subscribed and looking forward to reading it.
Your words are very calming and grounding. Thank you for sharing 💜
Thank Gracey. That's lovely to hear 💙
This is such a heartening read on several levels, Amanda. I’m glad you’re not moving around, that you’re finding some peace in the space, and that you have plans for the future that bring you joy. It’s helpful for me to listen to your words, because I am feeling the lack of space in my life right now, and a good bit of fatigue. I would like to rest, and am finding ways to do that, but things are just full. Reading your post helped me remember that life is always changing. I will have space at some point. And somehow, knowing that others are experiencing it, is encouraging. It’s out there. It exists. Thank you!
Here's to finding your space soon, Emily. And yes, everything changes all the time. I have found much peace of mind now that I know that, and can choose not to follow my thoughts when they appear. Took a lot of learning! 💙
Yes, I hear you! Lots of learning and time.