A time for writing, a time for not
What fallow times can bring to our writing
Hello friends,
Fiction writer me is back! After a long time of having no enthusiasm or headspace for writing stories, in the past few weeks I have been scribbling away putting down my ideas for my new novel and it’s really starting to take shape in my mind. The characters are alive and vivid, speaking to me regularly. I know how several important scenes look and have an idea of how they will play out. Something is stopping me from actually writing the first words for it though. But I know they will come.
I have edited a story that has been in development for almost two years that I got feedback on five months ago. Really putting into practice the slow writing movement ideals there! I’ve submitted it to three journals that I would like my work to appear in one day. Fingers crossed for my little flash - go well little story. I have another two stories to edit that I received feedback on in March as well. But I am on the move again shortly and fly to Canada on 5th September. I think I will be distracted for a bit by my new location.
We’re going to a town in BC that I had never heard of before until we arranged this house sit. As I type, it is shrouded in smoke from the wildfires that are all around but it isn’t currently under threat from them. Instead, people that are being evacuated in the surrounding areas are being taken there, and any tourists are being asked to cancel their plans so that hotels can house the evacuees. My heart goes out to all of these people and I hope they can return to their homes soon.
The homeowner we’re housesitting for assures me that all will be well. That the fires will be contained and the rains will come soon. I am trusting in this belief of hers, after all she has been living there for 25 years and has experience of this. I’m sure if they thought there was anything to be concerned about they wouldn’t be leaving their home and animals to go on holiday to Europe.
It’s been interesting to notice my thoughts keep circling back though, despite the reassurances. The little niggling voice from that part of me that is afraid of the fires and thinks that if it keeps telling me that, it can keep me safe from them. In the past, I would have been swept away by that voice until I was in a state of panic about an imagined future scenario. Constantly checking online for information on the fires. I surprise myself often nowadays by how I react to things, or rather I should say don’t react.
Sometimes when I’m busy doing all the different things that running Retreat West and being a freelance writer, house sitter, wife, and friend entails, I’m so focused on them that I forget how much I’ve changed. Then something happens, or I get a piece of news, that wakes me back up to my new self again. The self that is calmer, more measured, more carefree, and able to respond thoughtfully rather than react mindlessly to all that comes my way.
Then I reflect on all that has brought me here to this new way of being. And that is the crucial word here. Being. I have become a human being rather than just a human doing.
The pace of modern life means that many of us have become incessantly busy. We have become human doings rather than human beings. There are obviously times when we need to do things — work, attend appointments, look after family members — but many people go through life always organising the next tasks they need to undertake, the next social occasion to attend. I was one of them. Distracting myself. Keeping busy removed any time for self-inquiry and reflection.
Just being can be difficult to embrace as it involves stillness and spending time with ourselves with no distractions. This is something that many people avoid as these are the times when difficult emotions can come to the surface. I avoided stillness for many years. But I came to realise that to live a more mindful, happier and peaceful life, being still, observing and accepting what comes to the fore emotionally, is very important.
As Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche says in his book, Joyful Wisdom: Embracing Change and Finding Freedom:
“We can look directly at the disturbing emotions and other problems we experience in our lives as stepping-stones to freedom. Instead of rejecting them or surrendering to them, we can befriend them, working through them to reach an enduring, authentic experience of our inherent wisdom, confidence, clarity and joy.”
I realised that I needed to balance doing and being. I had to embrace the negative and work with it to achieve the positive mindset and healthy, happy attitudes that a mindful life can bring. I’ve done lots of that work, but there is always more to do. Yet I do already have that sense of freedom he talks about.
The progress I’ve made means I can head to Canada despite the wildfires without panicking or fixating on the issue. I can take my time with my stories knowing that it doesn’t matter how long it takes to write and edit them, it’s the authenticity I bring to them that matters. I can accept the fallow times when I don’t write stories at all and embrace what happens in those times instead, as all of it means that when I do come back to storytelling after a time away, there are more riches to draw on.
I may be houseless and not have written many stories in the past year or so but I’ve been to some amazing places in the world, and in my mind. I’ve met new people, new creatures, and discovered new things. I’ve learned more about being human, about myself, about the many different worlds we all live in on this one planet that is home to us all. And that makes all of my writing and the characters that appear in my stories fuller, deeper and more alive.
What about you? What do the fallow writing times bring to your writing when you return to it again?
With love,
P.S. In Slow Writing Movement Style, I have a new story published for the first time since October 2022. The story started life in a workshop in November 2020. No rushing for my words! You can read it here.
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I write nonfiction, so it's not quite apples-to-apples, but I certainly get almost all of my ideas from times away from walking, like walking in nature or having a stimulating conversation with a friend. I think there's a lot to be said about how your mind is constantly working even when you're not. Good stuff, Amanda!
Thanks for this. Due to an injury, I haven’t been able to type for more than a few minutes for two months. The time away from writing has helped me see where I want to go next. In a way, hurting myself was a weird kind of blessing. No more endless woman stories for me!